so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
