Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
