it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
