i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
