at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
