i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
