New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
