DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
