I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
