He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
