I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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