worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
