roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
