I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
