Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
