Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
