..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
