guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
