do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
