I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
