i was rollin on her like bob the builder
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
