ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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