writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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