honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
