I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
