Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
She needs sedatives and a leash
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
