I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
