so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
