I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
