I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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