Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Well I just put wine in my tea
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
