Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
