I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Randomize
