i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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