I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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