but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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