And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
im holly from the hills drunk
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
