He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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