Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
