I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
