Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We are two peas in an std pod
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
