Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
