some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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