I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
