I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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