it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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