Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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