This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
