I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
