You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My boob is missing a layer of skin
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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