i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
