I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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